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fast thinking
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2000-04-06
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Subject: Fast Thinking in a Crisis Situation
This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best
Comeback Line Ever."
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white
male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public
indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse
on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch
and he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy
inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I
thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes,
cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with
evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently
failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and
was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached
him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor.
"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this
pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
"I just went up and said,'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are
screwing a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I
was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin?
Damn...is it midnight already?"